Since moving to Colorado, I've been trying to devote a lot more time to reading. I have finished 7 books since moving, and I have a couple more that I have been getting through.
One of the books that I have been working through recently is "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman. I might write something more in-depth on the book once I finish it. Right now I'm around 3/4th done with the book. It's super interesting stuff about how humans think. There is also emphasis on how a lot of our thought occurs without conscious input.
Now, it's all super cool and I recommend the book, but from reading the book, I have been reminded of weird things I have seen my brain do without my input. I wanted to write them down for 2 reasons. First, so that I can remember them. Second, so that I can compare to others.
Weirdness 1: Tinnitus
This isn't really that special, but it is worth mentioning since it kinda blows my mind. It took me forever to understand that silence might actually be silent. As far as I can remember, I have no memories where there wasn't that weird noise that occurs when things become "quiet." My concept of silence to me is the space where there are less external noises and then just that ringing/buzzing noise. I always just thought that this was the way things were. From my perspective, I still can't really determine if people are pulling my leg that silence doesn't have that ringing/buzzing noise for all people.
Weirdness 2: "C" and "S" swapping
This one did not used to happen to me. Around the time I went to college, I started to have a problem where if a word had an "S" or a "C" in it, regardless of whether I knew how to spell the word, I might spell it with the the incorrect letter and swap the "S" to a "C" or the "C" to an "S".
It does not matter if the sound is the "S" sound that "S" and "C" share. It does not matter if the sound is more of a "K" sound that "C" something makes.
There might be an inclination to say that this is due to the shape of the letter when it is being written on paper, but I have found that it also does not matter what medium I am writing with. It happens when I type or when I write with pen or pencil. I can't find a way to control it. It just happens naturally sometimes. I then have an extra step of going back over what I have written to check that I have not done that swapping on words I have written.
Does this swapping have a name? Does anyone know what this is? I have briefly tried to Google this to figure out if this has a name and a reason, but I am not too sure how to describe this.
Weirdness 3: Constant perceived sarcasm
This one only occurred when I was a kid, but I don't think I actually really told anyone about it at the time.
I am pretty sure it mostly occurred between the ages of 6 and 12. Sometimes it felt like it was more likely to occur on weekends for whatever reason.
What it was was that everything that was spoken to me, all English, started sounding like it was spoken sarcastically. I could tell because of the contents of the speech that it was not intended to be sarcastic, but the delivery of the English felt like it had the slight sarcastic touch to make it seem sarcastic.
It feels kinda odd to try to describe this, but this was a real, repeatable experience I had. Everything my family said, no matter what the context, sounded like it was sarcastic. Even the inner monologue voice of my mind sounded like it was sarcastic.
Thinking back on it, I'm not sure why I never asked anyone about this. It did bother me, but I learned that if I just tried to not think about how everything sounded sarcastic, it would typically go away after a time.
I just have no idea what it was. Does this have a name? Again, Googling: "Everything sounds sarcastic" is not a very fulfilling exercise.
Thinking about my mind makes me consider the minds of others and how I cannot ever fully understand the mind of another person. Everyone else also has odd and interesting things going on in their mind whether the mind's actions are conscious or unconscious. Neither I nor anyone else will ever truly be able to understand how uniquely interesting someone else's mind is. The best that can be done is that we together make a world of interesting human experience through the eyes of the spectrum of humans.
The moral of that thought, at least to me, is that you needn't let the perspectives and actions of others worry and upset you if you do not want them to. However, you can also let them worry and upset you to the extent that this also is your own expression in reaction to the perspectives of others.
Of the weird things that I mentioned above, these are all unconscious actions of my own mind that I have accepted, but decided to change the outcome of with my conscious thought. Remember that as a human, you have the gift to realize and change what your unconscious thoughts do. I do not say you have to, but sometimes it is fun and useful to have that ability.
Either way you take it, being a human is still incredibly interesting.
Plz DM me on Twitter if you have any idea what I can call #2 and #3 on my weirdness list. I would really like to know more about them.
-thursday